Soooooo.....
I have a new journal! It will be mainly focused on knitting, and other such things, with vague bits about my life, but none of this "this-is-what-i-done-today-arent-i-great-comment-plz" stuff I used to do.
But yeah, kinda knitting centric! I also have a new e-mail address, but I think i'll e-mail people with that rather than post it here on the interwebz
So the new journal is: 
nyponros

which is swedish for rosehip if anyone's interested, it's like my favourite flower. and stuff.
So yeah, I'll be watching you interesting folks and stalking your journals, so add me if you want to hear about knitting lol!

xxx

OMFG
Patrick Wolf dressed as a giraffe for halloween AND WORE THE MASK I MADE FOR HIM!







This is the most exciting thing to have ever happened EVER

In his blog he said he 'cherishes' the mask! AAAAAH! It took me 10+ hours to make so he'd better!

xxx

Rah update
Feeling very meh, generally. Lost all enthusiasm for everything really, or losing it very fast if there is any left. Uni is pissing me off, I'm bored of most of the things I'm studying and feel like I'm doing shit anyway. Like, I know I have it in me to get a first, like actually know, but I have no motivation and leave things to the last minute and at the moment I'm doubting if I can even scrape a 2:1 by the end of it all. So fucking dispirited. I need a first so whoever it is that does, can fund my masters for me, otherwise how the fuck can I afford it, and like unless I want to be nothing but a meanial worker and just digging until i get arthritus at the age of 30, I actually need a masters degree.
i mean I have fun with people and stuff, like when I see them and hang out, but I keep getting vague bouts of social anxiety and just sit in my room worrying, or if I am out just sit there quietly freaking out in my head. Eugh. I keep getting the whole feeling that I'm just imposing myself on people etc and they're only spending time with me out of pity bla bla bla but you know agh I've got rosii's birthday thing coming up, and next week I've got a sleep over, but i don't know which i'm freaking out more over - spending a night with a large group of people I kinda know, or a night with just one person who I used to know and now am friends with again. aaarhghghghg.
My social circle is actually expanding though, I'm ohmygosh making friends at work and uni and ohmygosh actually seeing them outside of those contexts but i just feel like my desire to socialise is just decreasing daily. and like I haven't actually got anywhere to retreat to as I live with my fucking parents, jesus. i just want to spend days in my room but they'd be like too much like "wtf lets talk about this rebecka..." eugh

oh fucking hell i must be boring the crap out of you all.

Mmm so we had to put Miku down in the end and it was immensely distressing. Dad had a go at the vets though for charging me a consultation fee when I first took her when the vet knew Miku was gonna need putting down practically the next day, so you know, they didn't charge us for putting her to sleep.

Still managed to have an awesome cool week though. Went to see the Animal Collective in Bristol with Thos (who insisted on being the biggest fanboi ever and singing along nurr nurr nurr) and they were actually really awesome. Then on halloween we went to see Attack & Defend, You Say Party!We Say Die! and Los Campusinos at the Cavern, and dressed up as Zombies Nurses woooo! Well at least me and Rosii did, Thos went as Robert Smith but most people thought he was just another, less messy, zombie. Maybe he should have used Richard B's technique of just introducing himself as Robert Smith all over the place hehehe







We made our own fake blood (because we is hardcore) from beef gelatine and food colouring, it was very.....beefy....also it dried like totally solid so we could like barely move, which was quite good as we were zombies BUUTTTT we wanted to dance. lots. It was awesome anyway. Some girls came up to me and Rosii and were like "we've been staring at you for the last ten minutes trying to work out if those cuts are real or not..." and looking absolutely terrified. I also chased a little kid down the street. FTW.

Cooked Thos dinner on saturday (I WAS IN THE KITCHEN FOR OVER 3 HOURS SOLID.) and dessert, oh and breakfast. 0_o Went out for dinner and drinks twice with the cool peeps from work, and didn't have to spend a penny either time because I am so skint. And yes i did manage to spend a months worth of wages in one weekend, shush. It was a good weekend though, any time when you have 14 shots each before dinner has to be a good time by default.

But yeah work's been a bit weird, half the people there are awesome and are my friends already but there are a lot of lazy, dithery twats there too. Had an interesting conversation with a customer though:

Customer: I'll have a breakfast
Me: I'm sorry but we've stopped serving hot food, and for future reference we stop serving breakfast at 11:30
Customer: You don't do an all day breakfast?
Me: I'm afraid not, either way we've stopped serving hot food now.
Customer: You're not from this country, are you??
Me: Ummmmm well as a matter of fact no I'm not....
Customer: HA! See! See! I told you!
Customer's Wife: *turns sharply and snaps* It doesn't make her a bad person!!

I just had to leave. Ho hum.

We found a massive lump on Miku's side that had appeared suddenly over the weekend, so we took her to the vets. They lanced it and said it was most likely a tumor, and that she hasn't got long left, and that we'll have to put her to sleep soon. Plunkett will be so lonely without her, I just don't know what to do :(

So yeah:



*SNORT*

Had a fabulous weekend in Bristol, Thos has been complaining that I haven't written a lenghty LJ entry about how amazing he is for him to stalk and read, and so I started writing one and then I realised that he hasn't written a lenghty LJ entry about how amazing I am for me to stalk and read, so I'm not going to bother until he does. That'll teach him.

So he took me to Ikea and then to the theatre to see a play by Amiri Baraka, a rather crazed, communist, black rights activist who got fired from being Poet Laureate in the USA for implying they knew about 9/11 before it happened. Or something. The play was awfully produced, but it was kinda worth it for the Q&A session afterwards with the man himself. He ranted about the evils of capitalism for a long, long while. It was good.

But yeah, anyone who buys me dinner, shoes, takes me to Ikea and the theatre has to be the most perfect man in the world right? But he can go fuck himself if he thinks I'm going to gush about him on Lj at his command *sniff* lolz. Anyway he bought me books too which was very nice of him. Boyfriends are never this nice to me, I'm almost getting suspicious.

So Rosii's working at Debenhamns cafe too now and it's SOOOOOOO good! We spend loads of time just nomming each other and cuddling and giggling and they don't really know what to make of it. Anyway so we might try and organise a paintballing game with the cool people at work sometime soon, which will be good.

Rah rah rah I have to go to uni now. *grumble*

A selection of things from the Facebook group "You know you are from Sweden when...." which REALLY apply to me....and I've put the best ones in bold, just for shits and giggles.

7. You go seriously sentimental when entering an IKEA store, outside the borders of Sweden.
13. Whenever discussing international problems you always, without exception state that "why don't you do it like we do it in Sweden?"
14. You know the names of a multitude of IKEA items.
15. You know how to pronounce these names and sigh when non-Swedes don't
23. You consider the question "how are you?" as a question that when posed, needs to be answered with a honest and thorough explanation of your mental health.
28. You don't consider a congregation of trees being a "real" forrest unless it takes at least 20 minutes to drive through it.
35. You know that the most common cars in Sweden are not Volvo's or Saab's, but Ahlgrens Bilar.
36. You can debate for hours the difference between the taste of the pink, the green and the white car in a pack of Ahlgrens bilar.
37. You actually have a favourite colour of Ahlgrens bilar, and is pretty militant in your opinion on this point.
39. You like things in general to be "lagom".
40. It annoys the hell out of you that there is no good translation for the word "lagom" in any language (except in Turkish, apparently)
45 You have a tendency to make Swedish verbs out of English nouns, and do not consider it slang or gramatically incorrect.
58. You find the idea of wall to wall carpets in bathrooms and toilets simply appalling.
66. You think that everyone is allowed to walk in any field or forrest. And when people abroad tell you it's private land, you don't understand and say "But, what about Allemansratten?"
72. You secretly consider Sweden the best place on earth and that Swedes are the most intelligent and beautiful people in the world.
74. You take a sip of Strongbow, frown, and state that there's nooo way that the yellow sludge they call cider really is cider..
80. Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you.
91. You cannot see why the first floor you walk in to should be called anything but the first floor, and the next one up the second, and so on, and you get confused by this in every multi-storey building you enter.
95. You don't mind women using the men's bathroom in clubs if the queue to the "Ladies" is long.
102. You always go "That's not REAL snow" whenever it snows in countries that usually don't get snow.
103. You find it adorable when people from other countries get excited about a few milimetres of snow that only stays on the ground for a few hours
115. You constantly have to point out that not EVERYONE in sweden is blond, in fact you add that most people are not.
118. IKEA is home away from home.
120. You know Carl Larsson captures the atmosphere of a 'stuga' perfectly.
133. you consider it tradition to get wasted and dance around a giant penis symbol stuck in the ground every summer.
143. you talk about politics at house parties.
162. you find it unbearable and disturbing that "puss" and "kyss" is only one word in English.
177. You actually know how to pronounce smörgåsbord
180. Everytime you see a swedish brand/actor/company/phone/car/furniture store you feel compelled to point that out to your friends (with badly hidden pride in your voice).
213. You just love to 'fika', and know that it is an activity that is meant to last for hours and is not the equivalent of going for a coffee.
214. You don’t get why no other language has a verb for drinking coffee/tea since it is such a very, very important pastime!
225. You have absolutely no idea what is meant by" Swedish massage" that keeps being advertised as a hot item in spas all over the world.
236. You end a P.S with a D.S.
237. You find it perfectly normal to dress up like a witch at Easter and find the Easter bunny completely illogical.

And incidentally, YEAH why do you rubbish english people don't have a verb for drinking coffee....pfft....weirdos...

I want to go home, Exeter sucks in comparison to Göteborg....*sniffle*

So....

Me:"Last year I watched pride and prejudice five times in a week. And saw the tv show. And read the book. All in one week. It was a good week."
Thos:"What has that got to do with you coughing on my chest all the time?"
Me:"Nothing....though i guess they must have coughed in Pride and Prejudice."
Thos:"Yeah but they would have been polite coughs, like this *cough*"
Me:"That sounded nothing like a polite cough, more like a car engine starting."
Thos:"What? You mean like 'Mr.Darcy, that wasn't a cough, that was the sound of a motor engine starting. You twat.'"
Me:*giggle giggle giggle*

Had a fabulous weekend in Bristol, spent largely in bed or just wandering around the city. Thos bought me really good shoes, they have ribbons on and everything (this reminds me, Richard B brookes you scoundrel, you promised me and Rosii shoes). Met his really really lovely landlords who gave us wine and had a gloriously fat cat called Oscar who insisted on sitting on my lap, tearing up my dress and rubbing his fat face all over me. And he gave me rash, like cat-rash. Oscar was like "i is on yur face, fuxing with yur rash" and I was like "Oh hai, I has rash kkthnxbai" and I left with my head in a paper bag.

It was a good weekend. Though it felt vaguely Withnail & I for some reason, i really expected, and wanted, someone to just be like "ponce" when we walked past them. but they didn't. Life is never as good as it seems in the movies. Lolz.

I just realised there are two Swedish words for cake, depending on what sort of cake it is. Cakes like say a lemon drizzle are called by one name (kaka), and big round ones with fillings have a different word (tårta). For a language that doesn't have a word equivalent to 'the', it seems a bit excessive to have 2 words for cake.

I baked Rosii a cake incidentally, hence the cake thoughts. My second cake in like a week, I am so impressed with my progress in my quest to become a better, nicer, lovelier woman.

I have a cold too. Mope.

Me:What's wrong with leg warmers?
Thos:I feel like I'm walking next to the ghost of 80s past.
Me:Oh....it took me like an hour to decide what outfit to wear, just in case I meet your parents.
Thos:And hot pink was your safe choice?
Me:*mope*

It took me at least 15 minutes to work out that when my mum wrote LOL at the end of a note to me she was actually meaning Lots Of Love, not, well, LOL. Phew.

Thos gave me a worry doll last night...I think the fact that I already have 4 boxes of them says a lot about me, or at least what people think of me *mope*

I am being Lj stalked and it's unnerving, and my pillow smells of hair gel, I am in so many ways so blatantly not impressed!

Inland Empire won't get the fuck out of my head.
So I painted this for Thos because he endured it with me and gave me cuddles through the scary bits (which was all of it). Listening to Nico before watching it really didn't help, no wonder I couldn't sleep at all that night.
Rah.

Hehehehehehehehehe oh you're all gonna love this! SO remember how I spent the last of my overdraft on DVDs? (one of which I've lost...) well I actually went slightly over my overdraft limit but because I never open letters from the bank I didn't realise this very much. Sooooo they've sent me a very nasty letter saying I have to pay off the entire overdraft (£760 wooop!), send my chequebook tothem, cut my cards in half and send that to them or THEY'LL SEND LEGAL REPRESENTATIVES TO MY HOUSE TO FETCH SAID ARTICLES THEN TAKE ME TO COURT! YEEEEEEEEY!!
Not pleased, but it's gotten to the point where it's so bad it's just funny! HA!

On a happier note, I've got a date on Monday. Well I say a date, I don't know if it counts as one, but, I think it does. maybe. Anyway, me and Thos are going to the Picturehouse to see the old silent classic Nosferatu but with a live avant-garde electronica band playing along with it. It sounds like officially the best thing ever. I have to try very hard to not be tired and fall asleep like I always do at the Picturehouse -_-

Well most of you probably know already so I won't go on and on about it but Matt dumped me and bla bla bla etc.

But on a better note, the craft fair out at Westpoint was surprisingly omgamazing! There was a lot of cross stitch/scrap-booking/card making etc crap but there was also a lot of fantastic stuff. Bought yarn and a knitting pattern for a beret to try and inspire me to learn to knit properly but my brain hurts too much too even contemplate picking up needles any time soon. Got some more roving from the usual place for when me and Ena start my wig (soon hopefully!) Was kinda vaguely more inspired about my LARP costume but more inspired for the project that me and Rosii have in the planning...

I got paid too! Spent like two thrids of it in one day on clothes but *shrugs* that's what money's for really. Still haven't gotten on top of sorting out my loan which SUCKS and which I really must do *grumble*

Had a really good night with Rosii and Thos last night, dinner at Harry's restaurant and drinks at Oddfellows, it was all very pleasant. I almost regret buying Rosii loads of clothes too, she looked way better than me last night and I was like *muttermuttermuttergrumble* but meh never mind, we both looked great. It was weird though because I was considering going totally sophisticated (they always say a girl should reinvent herself when she's been unceremoniously ditched) and was like naaaah nu rave is where it's at! So I buy Rosii loaods of sophisticated clothes and me kind of nu ravey ones and she looked better and I was like damn damn damn. It was good anyway.

Work today was fun, spent the lunch with Tom and Jade on the cathedral green, and was told by the chef that it's people like me who make him wish he was single. Which is nice. But didn't really make me feel much better.

So how long have I been working at Debenhams, and I've already been to work drunk LOLZ
Today Heather, the woman who works for Debenhams setting up the restaurants, took us all out for lunch to the tapas bar opposite, all expenses paid! All the people around me were like 'oh I don't like white wine' and I was like 'I DO!!!' so basically I got a bit jolly on everyone else's wine *grin* Unfortunately it was a set menu and as it was Spanish food it was largely meat. And mushrooms. I was like 'umm yey' and forced some calamari down my throat. Luckily heather took pity on me and let me order some vegetarian dishes off the menu so I went a bit mad and ordered laods and then felt like I had to eat it all and felt sooooooo stuffed! I don't think I've ever felt so full in my entire life, but it was free so it's ok lol

I bumped into my Oxfam friend Thos on my way to the bus station, which was nice as I haven't seen him for soooo long! He's such a lovely fop, he's a cross between Bernard Black and Richard B Brookes ^_^ We're gonna escape Tiverton for a day next week and have a fun day somewhere more exciting lol I can't quite work out if he's gay or not, he's a bit camp and foppish but at the same time he asks me out for drinks quite a bit, but that could just be out if friendliness right? *shrugs*

I is quite worried though, the bizzare scar on mah booby has gone a bit weird and is bleeding O_O So nobody gets to go near my breasts for a while! Sorry Ena! ^_~

Saw Sam last night for the last time before he goes back to uni, I'm so sad and upset about it ;____; Sam makes me laugh in such an absolutely uncontrollable way that nobody else can, yesterday he cornered me and quoted Michael Gambon at me in a stupid voice until I fell on the floor and almost wet myself! It doesn't sound that funny, I guess you had to be there, but he is the only person who can reduce me to almost wetting myself with laughter!
I'd got him an amazing, amazing going away to uni present though, it was a video board game (kind of like Atmosfear) of Star Trek the Next Generation! A Klingon named Kavok had taken control of the Enterprise and was going to start anintergalactic war unless you stop him lol everytime he came on screen you had to touch your "communcations badge" (a sticker) and shout YES CAPTAIN KAVOK! It was GREAT! And because Sam won I had to give him a medal and read out this long winded speech it was so stupid XD My favourite bit though was when you were forced to experience "BIJ", Klingon for pain (though it should really be Klingon for "pick up a card that makes you lose a go or something equally not that bad really"). I love Star Trek lol


Sam talking to Kavok using his communicator badge!


Me telling Kavok to fuck off, look how cool the board is!!

I'm gonna miss Sam so much! He gave me a rubber cow wearing lipstick, and when you squeeze it, it makes a sound like a very old man having sex!! (this is Sam's description, not mine, I'd like to add. He does go to uni in Brighton after all......) I'm gonna try and go and visit him when I get paid from work and stuff as I never made it up there last year!

Work today was exhausting, and because there was a mad rush and people screwed up, and we got really behind with things and confused and crazy, it meant I only got half an hour for lunch *grumble* But I still had fun, I love the people I work with, they make me laugh. The new chef James came up to me today and was like "I'm gonna grow a beard. And then.....then I'm gonna shave your name into it TO FREAK YOU OUT!!!!!" before wandering off laughing. I was like lolz I have a stalker. Again.

I'm so tired I must go to bed before I collapse. Luckily I don't have work until noon tomorrow, yey!

Oh and one last thing:



YEY MERLIN!!! Bless that dog, he looks all French in my beret.

My god why does Return of the King make me cry soooooo much every time I see it? Seriously, every time anyone says or does anything I start bawling it's surreal, it was well embarassing when I saw it in the cinema -_- But like when they all bow to the hobbits I'm all like ;_____; *bawl*
Soooo my parents think I'm a freak nows lol

Good news though, I've finally got my new bed for my room! Wooo! My parents went to Ikea today (without me!! I am not impressed, but I guess I could have gone...but I had better things to do) and got my sofa bed, a new book shelf (number five and they're still overflowing, I need to bloody stop reading or something!! O_O) which means I should be able to re-arrange everything and find room for all the archaeological reference books I bought from Jon's old shop this year, and like new lamp shades and curtains and things. Can't wait for the walls to be painted properly, a few of them are still pink *shudder*, can't wait for them all to be a nice relaxing grey. Yes, that's right - grey. It's a good wall colour alright! And now that my face won't be up right against the ceiling (how I hated my stupid old impractical bed that shook everywhere and squeaked like a bitch if I moved a millimeter) I can have a light by me and read in bed like I used to! *nostalgia*

Work is going well though there's a worrying new development - last night, I dreamt about work. ALL NIGHT. I was loading the dish washer in one dream, and like setting up the deli counter in another O_O it was endless and HORRIBLE. It's like that time when I played Super Smash Brothers Melee for eight hours every day of the christmas holidays and then dreamt that I was Kirby getting the shit kicked out of me and threw up everywhere. Except this time there was less throwing up involved. And by less I mean none. But I was stupid and forgot to ring my manager at Oxfam to tell her I wouldn't be in on Saturday so she phoned my mum up really angry and I've got to go apologise to her tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to because she's scary when she's in a good mood. -_-

Gah and the £200 I'm supposed to be getting from Abbey (the deposit from a house we were gonna get but didn't that they've only just paid back. it's a long story, and one that makes me really angry whenever I think about it. Lets just say that I've had so much fucking shitty bad luck when it comes to finding a house this next year, and I was let down by so many people, that it's not even funny. Hence me living at home next year. Yey.) has VANISHED into someone else's account. Or possibly just into the ether. Basically, I gave her the account number that was on an actual letter from the actual bank, that was next to a bit where it actually said Account Number. And it appears it was wrong. Somehow. Becasue it was totally different from the account number on my cheque book. But the money has gone out of her account, it's just not gone into mine. So we're like gaaaaaaaaah. SO I've been ridiculously grumbly lately about that, and I've had to borrow shitloads from my parents which had made them grumbly. Helen - whatever you do, when you go to uni don't get two overdrafts and spend them both before your second year has even started!!! You'll be screwed.
But it's fine, as I'm living at home next year and my folks aren't charging rent, my maintenance loan can nicely fill up my massive first overdraft and I can work to pay off my second one. Hopefully. Or something like that. I'm gonna be hideously in debt for the rest of my life due to uni anyway so what difference doesn a couple of thousand make?? LOLZ

But I had a really good time Friday night with various peoples, it was nice to go out drinking and not dance all night, much more sociable. Though I do miss dancing at the Cavern with Rosii, she better hurry back from bloody Spain *grumble*
Work was good on Saturday too, we basically practiced on the machines we weren't comfortable on for hours an hours so I just made everyone smoothies for most of the morning and it was GREAT. Spent my lunch break wandring round town, discussing the pros and cons of traditional Resi vs Resi 4 style gameplay with Ross, then spent the afternoon drinking hot chocolate and looking through the recipe folder with Peter and Tom. The new chef James bullies me so much though! I was taking food to tables for like 2 hours, and had a pager that buzzed like some crazy vibrator every time someone pressed the button in the kitchen, and he'd be pressing it constantly so i was almost dropping everything I was carrying! So mean! In the end I just took it off and hid behind the main counted making smoothies again lols But work meant I missed the Fore Street Festival which I'd promised Simon I'd go to with him, so that sucked a bit.
And toooday...was uhh...embarassing? But it was good, cleared the air a bit between me and Matttt, and got stuff off my chest that needed to be gotten off, stuff that I'd been worrying over for a while now really. Needlessly too it seems, which just goes to show what a lot of un-good my insecurities and self consciousnessess does -_- But he was very lovely, unlike my previous boyfriends (with the exception of one, you know who you are *pets*) who, whenever I got upset or expressed any form of emotional distress would fall in one of two categories - a) violently abusive and nasty or b) so condenscending and patronising I would physically have to remove myself from the room before I got violent. So nice and understanding makes a good change. Someone give that man a cookie. <3

I am in such a bad mood, both my parents fucked off to work without lending me any money like they promised they would, which means I've got to wait for them to come back before I can get a bus to Exeter which means I'll be stupidly late tonight. Fucking shitting fuck. And now I'm gonna be in a foul mood all night because I'll have been fuming all day. So I'm sorry guys.

it has ocurred to me that maybe, it's just a thought mind, Gray was just using me as a convenient place to live so he wouldn't lose his job in Exeter. Thoughts?

Had a good week so far, got off work early on monday as I was veeeery ill (luckily no repeat of saturday though) most likely as a result of eating a large quatity of fried bread. Never doing that again.
Yesterday was cool, didn't make it to the beach but had a glorious lunch at Marku's expense (thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou) and went to see Withnail and I at the Picturehouse with Mattttttt. Which was nice. Be nice to do things like that more often, who knows MAYBE HE'LL EVEN TAKE ME OUT TO DINNER SOME TIME I JUST DON'T KNOW HINT HINT. Hehehehe. Bless him. Travelodge eeeey?
I've been very sleepy recently, I keep falling asleep all over the shop. Not literally. I might go sleep now actually.